Much has been documented about Lyle, Erik, and José, but who was Kitty? Here’s what you need to know about her role in the Menendez family and how she played a part in the brothers’ surprising crime.

Kitty had a tumultuous childhood

Kitty was born Mary Louise Andersen in 1941 to Charles and Mae Andersen. The youngest of four children, she grew up in a middle-class family in Oak Lawn, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago. But her life was far from idyllic.

According to crime investigator and author Rachel Pergament, Charles, who owned a heating and air conditioning company, was abusive toward Mae and their children. The couple eventually divorced when Kitty was a child, leaving her depressed and withdrawn. She had trouble making friends and harbored resentment toward her father for years.

Still, these traumatic circumstances didn’t stop Mary Louise, who eventually earned the nickname “Kitty,” from having big dreams. She wanted to become an actress and enrolled at Southern Illinois University to study communications.

“She was stunningly beautiful, and I mean stunning on the outside and even more stunning on the inside,” her brother Brian Andersen told ABC’s 20/20In 1962, Kitty won the Miss Oak Lawn beauty pageant. By then, her good looks had already attracted the attention of a young Cuban immigrant named José Menendez.

Kitty married Jose Menendez in 1963

According to The Los Angeles TimesKitty was in college when she met Menendez, a swimmer on scholarship at Southern Illinois University. Kitty, two years older, was instantly smitten with José, who had emigrated to America at 16 to escape Fidel Castro’s regime. “All of a sudden, she was hit by a bulldozer,” said her roommate at the time, Jo McCord.

Other friends described Kitty as glamorous, but somewhat secretive about her past and “a bit of a rebel” around this time. Although José’s family objected, feeling he was too young, the couple married in 1963 when he was only 19. They soon moved to New York City, where José transferred to Queens College.

Kitty initially worked as a schoolteacher. But after the births of their two sons—Lyle in January 1968 and Erik in November 1970—Kitty put her own ambitions aside to become a full-time housewife at José’s insistence. The family eventually settled near Princeton, New Jersey, where the brothers attended the private Princeton Day School.

According to her brother, Kitty often spoiled Lyle and Erik while José, a businessman, worked long hours and traveled. “I said to Kitty, ‘You know, there’s got to be some discipline in their lives,'” Brian Andersen said. “And of course she’d come right back, ‘Brian, don’t tell me how to raise my boys.'”

José’s marital infidelity devastated Kitty

While José’s career provided the family with a prosperous lifestyle, problems in the marriage and in Kitty’s personal life surfaced.

While it is clear that their relationship was a source of tension within the family, the murders of José and Kitty—and the subsequent trials of Lyle and Erik—would bring to light even more disturbing allegations about their behavior.

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Lyle claimed that Kitty abused the brothers

Lyle and Erik were arrested for the murder of their parents in March 1990 and charged with first-degree murder in December 1992. At their separate trials, they argued that they killed their parents in self-defense after years of sexual abuse, primarily by José, but also by Kitty.

During his testimony on September 13, 1993, Lyle claimed that Kitty invited him to bed and asked him to touch her “everywhere,” starting when he was about 11 years old until he turned 13. He also testified that she often appeared to him completely or semi-nude in their home.

The older brother also accused Kitty of physical and psychological abuse, saying she kicked him and dragged him to his room by his hair. He claimed she would punish him by throwing his most prized possessions, including stuffed animals, out of his window.

The first trials for each brother resulted in a jury that found no wrong. During their joint retrial in 1995, a judge quickly ruled that the defense had failed to provide sufficient evidence of José’s alleged abuse, which was crucial to their claim of self-defense. A jury ultimately convicted Lyle and Erik on March 21, 1996.

Although there was no physical evidence of Kitty’s abuse, a cousin of Erik and Lyle said that Lyle, then 8, confided in her in 1976 about José’s abuse. Diane Vander Molen told ABC News she spoke to Kitty about the confession. “I could tell by the way she was holding it that she didn’t believe any of this,” Vander Molen said. “And (she) went downstairs, and Lyle had already gotten into the bed next to mine, and she went ahead and grabbed him by the arm and took him upstairs, and I never heard anything more about it.”

Sevigny wanted to ‘bring dignity’ to Kitty

A memorial service was held for Kitty and José Menendez in Los Angeles on August 25, 1989. She is buried next to her husband in Princeton Cemetery in New Jersey.

Kitty’s story has been told in several dramatic adaptations of the murders, most notably portrayed by Beverly D’Angelo in the 1994 TV movie Menendez: A Murder in Beverly Hills and Courtney Love in 2017 Menendez: Blood Brothers.

As for MonstersSevigny discussed how the series explores the complexities of Kitty’s marriage to José and the “cycle of abuse” that hung over her life. “I want to give her dignity, even in her mistakes, and try to show empathy for how she felt about the things that she complains about on the show,” Sevigny said. Harper’s Bazaar in March 2024. “(She’s talking about) the kids taking the love of her life, and her body, her career, her ambitions. I talk to a lot of women who find that challenging once they become mothers.”

Tyler Piccotti first joined the Biography.com staff as Associate News Editor in February 2023, and prior to that, he worked as a newspaper reporter and copy editor for nearly eight years. He is a graduate of Syracuse University. When he’s not writing and researching his next story, you can find him at the nearest amusement park, catching the latest movie or cheering on his favorite sports teams.