Every year I write two annual forecast columns. In one, I try to predict where each team will finish in the league and which ones are legitimate cup contenders.

That column appeared last week and I don’t like it.

Not specifically this year’s version. I just don’t like making those standard meat-and-potatoes calls because the risk/reward just doesn’t work for me. If I’m right, big deal – oh wow, you had Edmonton as Cup contenders, a way to come out. And of course, if I’m wrong about someone (which I will be), I need to hear about it from the fanbase all year long. Where’s the fun in that?

Then you have the second prediction column. This. The fun one.

This is the annual column where I get way too specific about my predictions for each team. It is not enough to think that something might happen; I’ll give you an exact date. Oh, a player is going to post nice numbers – good for them, but what specific numbers will they be? Anyone can predict basic statistics. What about the weird things you don’t even think about?

And best of all, all of these predictions are so strangely specific that there’s no chance they’ll be right. Unless it is, in which case you’ll never hear the end of it.

I can’t lose. So let’s dive in as we take a deeper look at one call for each team.

My favorite thing about the 2023-2024 Jets: They went to a shootout against the Habs in October, went 0-for-3 and lost, and then apparently said, ‘That sucked, let’s not do shootouts the rest of the year . And they didn’t. The hockey gods were pleased. Not satisfied enough to help them in the playoffs, but satisfied nonetheless.

The only other two teams to go all season without scoring in the shootout were the Canucks and Devils, so let’s say the Jets win a shootout against one of those teams this year – and they actually score multiple goals to do so.

The Blackhawks finally get to play in an outdoor game this year, as they host the Blues in the Winter Classic in a matchup that could only exist because the NHL is praying that Connor Bedard will score the winner. Their prayers will be answered, because that is exactly what is happening.

The schedule maker certainly hasn’t done the Kings any favors, as their first seven games of the season have included exactly zero home games. Speaking of outs, on that first road trip, the Kings will both record a shutout and record one against them.

We all know that Sidney Crosby has a fascination bordering on obsession with the number 87, so I have some great news for him: that’s the number of points the Penguins will finish with this year. Wait, maybe that’s not good news after all.

Newly acquired Patrik Laine dodged a bullet in the preseason when an injury that looked like it could end his season didn’t require surgery. He will miss a few more months, but Habs fans will apparently see him in action this season. And once he’s healed, it won’t take long for him to make a good impression as he scores in his very first stint as a Canadian.

Last year the Sharks’ schedule started with an absolute killer line-up of contending teams, and they started the season with 11 straight losses. This year’s October schedule is… well, it’s not great, but at least it features the Ducks and Hawks twice. Let’s just say the Sharks shock the world by exiting the first month at .500, and not talking about how the season goes after that.

Last year was the second season in a row with no six-on-three goals scored in the entire league. That streak will come to an end this year, and it will happen in a game with the Avalanche.

Edmonton Oil Companies

Leon Draisaitl is not yet the highest paid player in the league. He will have to wait until his extension comes into effect next year. But he will be the highest scorer as he captures the first Rocket Richard of his career.

This could be the year Leon Draisaitl collects his first Rocket Richard Trophy. (Leila Devlin/Getty Images)

Three teams have repeated as Presidents’ Trophy winners in the cap era. Can Rangers join the club? Absolutely, they can. But they won’t, because they finish sixth.

Now that he’s added a Stanley Cup to his multi-Vezina resume, Sergei Bobrovsky has done everything a goalie could dream of. Except for one thing: making a goalie, which he does this year.

We tried this last year with the Islanders and it was close, so let’s try again. The Wild were the only team to go all of last year without ever finishing a game with the same number of shots as their opponent. This year it happens in one of their first three games.

The good news is that Miro Heiskanen is a Norris finalist for the first time in his career, and it’s the first time for a Stars blueliner since Sergei Zubov in 2006. The slightly less good news is that Heiskanen, like Zubov, finishes third .

My prediction would be that the Sabers were the first team to get absolutely mercilessly dunked on by a team they aren’t even rivals with, but that’s already happened, so… yeah.

I understand that spirits aren’t super high in Buffalo right now, but can we point out that the last time a Lindy Ruff team started 0-2-0, they won 16 of their next 17 on their way to 112 points? The Sabers won’t match the Devils from 2022-2023, but the point is the season isn’t over yet. Well, unless they lose both games on this mini-homestand. They will do that even if they get one point in the process.

Devils from New Jersey

Well well, look who the new goalkeeper in town is. That would be the oddly specific prediction legend Jacob Markström, whose shutout prowess has been a fixture in this region since the incident.

We obviously have to predict a shutout here, and we will against his former team. No, not the Flames – we must aim higher. Neither do the Canucks. At some point this year, Markström will get a shutout against the defending champions he started his career with, blanking the Panthers.

Calgary flames

One might assume that the Markström trade resulted in the Flames being in our doghouse. But don’t forget, they still have an oddly specific Hall of Famer Joel Hanley as their depth defenseman on the first ballot. So yeah, you know we’re predicting the night of his one and only goal for the season. It will happen in the 23rd game he plays.

Strangely specific predictions legend Joel Hanley returns, now with the Flames. (Brett Holmes/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

Anaheim Ducks

A player who scores an overtime goal for the Ducks during the regular season will also score an overtime goal in the playoffs, but for a different team.

The Hurricanes have a quiet, tough schedule to start the season; Only three of their Oct. 10 games are at home, and they are against the Lightning, Devils and Bruins. Start slowly? Not quite, but at the end of this month it will be 5-4-1.

The fans have turned on him, he needs a new contract, and at the end of the season he might walk away for nothing as a UFA, so Mitch Marner is having a monster season and winning the Art Ross could somehow way negative for the Leafs. . I won’t go that far, but he will finish the season twenty points ahead of William Nylander.

One quirk of last year’s Knights season: they posted a league-worst 0-5-0 in which they had exactly three days off. The first time this happens this year looks ugly as they have to go to Edmonton on November 6 to take on the reigning conference champions. It goes without saying that they will win according to the regular rules.

It’s an annual, weirdly specific prediction tradition, so let’s make this year’s Wings team that some people think will be a lot better, some people think will be a lot worse, but actually ends the year with exactly the same number of points as they had in 2023-2024 (91).

Patrick Roy never faced the Avalanche last year, arriving a few weeks late for the final meeting on the schedule. This year, however, he won’t have to wait long as his Islanders will be in Colorado next Monday. And the game will remind us of Roy in his prime, because there is a goalkeeper fight 40-save performance in an Islanders victory.

St. Louis blues

The Penguins and Blues were the only two teams to go all of last year without scoring a single goal in a four-on-four game. This year they will play each other twice, and in one of those matches there will indeed be a four-on-four goal.

Matvei Michkov arrives with almost as much hype as his compatriot Alexander Ovechkin. Ovechkin debuted with a 52-goal, 106-point season, and it’s completely unfair to Michkov to compare him to someone like that. Instead, we’ll be much more reasonable and say he’s the next Pavel Bure, debuting with 34 goals and 60 points.

Vancouver Canucks

Sorry Canucks fans, I have no idea when Thatcher Demko will return this year. But if he does return, it will be with a shutout.

Boston Bruins

Since we’re making predictions for the goalie’s return, let’s also make one for Jeremy Swayman now that he’s signed. No shutout this time though; he is drawn on his first start.

Lightning in Tampa Bay

The big question is who will have the most goals: the shiny new toy Jake Guentzel or the discarded Steven Stamkos? Unfortunately for the stories, they end in a draw.

Speaking of Stamkos, his return to Tampa Bay is scheduled for October 28. He gets a big ovation before the match when he is introduced, and a smaller one at the end when he scores the extra-time winner.

Will Steven Stamkos score the overtime winner on his return to Tampa? (Joel Auerbach/Getty Images)

Here’s a weird point: according to NHL stats, the Kraken didn’t score a single wraparound goal last year, mainly because they only attempted five all season. This year they get one, and to make it completely ridiculous, we’ll say it comes against the Jets, the team with the second-fewest attempts.

New city, new team, new franchise (sort of), so we need an initial goal prediction. Let’s go with Lawson Crouse and hope he scores in the right net.

I was going to write about a Pierre-Luc Dubois revenge game against his former team, but then I realized that this is literally a tenth of the Caps’ schedule: they play a combined eight games against the Blue Jackets, Jets and Kings. Will Dubois go on a rampage against his exes? Not really, but he will have four points in those games. A goal and three assists, if you want to be strangely specific.

This might be the most unlikely entry I’ve ever dropped, and when it hits I’ll have no choice but to withdraw from the prediction game, but here goes. Sometime this year, Linus Ullmark and BFF Jeremy Swayman will end up on the phone during a brawl. They’ll be goalie hugs, only with haymakers. Or at least love taps.

Columbus blue jackets

The Blue Jackets enter the season with a dismal schedule, with playoff teams in eight of their starting eleven and no opponents finishing below .500. The good news: In one of those games, the Blue Jackets will get a win against the 2025 Stanley Cup champions.

(Top photo by Jacob Markström: Bruce Bennett / Getty Images)