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Sabrina Carpenter’s ‘Short n’ Sweet’ Tour Will Not Feature ‘Nonsense’ Outro
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Sabrina Carpenter’s ‘Short n’ Sweet’ Tour Will Not Feature ‘Nonsense’ Outro

We gather here today to mourn the loss of a true pop icon: the horny outros Sabrina Carpenter usually performs at the end of “Nonsense.” The pop phenomenon kicked her Short and sweet world tour in Columbus, Ohio, last night to an audience that wondered what city-incorporating allusion she would use to close the song. The last time she was in Ohio, she said, “If it’s small that’s super inconvenient/If he doesn’t know this song you should leave him/I wish that I could put the cleve in Cleveland.” But the singer has decided to forgo the lyrical gimmick this time around.

At the end of “Nonsense,” Carpenter gave the usual “Woke up this morning, thought I’d write a pop hit/How quickly can you take your clothes off pop quiz?” line. Then, as she would normally have launched into the outro, she began to descend beneath the stage, feigning a microphone mishap with a look of mock confusion. “We apologize for the interruption of our program due to technical difficulties,” a sign onstage read.

The outro series had a good run. When Carpenter performed on Saturday Night Liveshe turned it around to: “He’s 30 Hard as nails ’cause I said ‘Hi’/My sense of humor is but I ain’t dry/SNL I just came for the first time.” And when she passed by the BBC Radio 1 Live Lounge, she joked: “I’m American, I’m not British/So BBC, it stands for something else/This Live Lounge is so great ’cause I’m in it/Innit, ’cause I’m innit, you get it?”

The last one she performed was in August at Outside Lands in San Francisco. “Soon cometh my album so exciting/My heart doth pound beneath my breasts, so mighty/Outside Lands, it’s like you’re inside me,” she sang, ending the era on a Shakespearean note.

But the death of “Nonsense’s” outro doesn’t mean the end of Carpenter’s affinity for horny one-liners. Her new album is full of them. The viral second verse of “Bed Chem” is the perfect example: “Come right on me, I mean camaraderie/Said you’re not in my time zone, but you wanna be/Where art thou? Why not uponeth me?/See it in my mind, let’s fulfill the prophecy.”

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Carpenter also injected comedy into other parts of her production on the Short and sweet tour for good measure. At the end of the show, fans were treated to a pre-recorded farewell message. “I hope you had a great night, drive safely! Thank you for coming to my tour. I love to sing,” she says in the infomercial-style video. “I hope you enjoyed hearing me sing for so long. Be sure to check out the merch table on your way out. There’s a lot of merch — or maybe not, maybe it’s sold out. I don’t know, I filmed this months ago.”

And she goes on: “Thank you for coming to the show. I hope you sang your heart out. I’m just kidding, I know you did. I was there the whole time. I love you. Have a great night, everybody. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Thank you for coming to the show. I hope you had a great night. Was that sincere?”