Sunday evening was the Kansas City Chiefs gave the Atlanta Falcons a 22-17 defeat in Week 3 of the NFL. This is what Tom Ruprecht heard at Mercedes-Benz Stadium.

1. “Arthur Blank bought hot dogs and sodas for the entire crowd. Unfortunately, that money came out of the Falcons’ budget for offensive linemen.”
2. “Because the game was in Georgia, Travis Kelce blew the first half to get on a ‘Dukes of Hazzard tour.”
3. “Imagine how much more impressive Patrick Mahomes’ stats would be if he had Justin Simmons as his receiver.”
4. “NBC reminds you that the second quarter will be exclusively on Peacock, and the fourth quarter will be exclusively on CNBC+.”
5. “Moving Mahomes to wide receiver is as stupid as hiring Sydney Sweeney for your film and making her the primary grip.”
6. “The biggest threat to the Chiefs’ third straight title is Carson Steele who wants to bring a goddamn alligator into the locker room.”
7. “You have to admit that the referees make it difficult to counter the arguments that ‘the bosses get all the decisions’.”