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    • Best and worst of week 3
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    Best and worst of week 3

    Vaseline Posted on

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    Week 3 in college football was a week full of crazy plays, fans that needed comforting (I’m looking at you, Florida State and Florida fans), and teams that took their frustrations out on opponents, leaving them with more than just a bruised ego.

    It’s time for the report card. The same goes for last season’s grades: high grades are only given for the spectacular, and failing grades cannot be reversed.

    Last week’s top marks went to Northern Illinois, which lined its pockets with a win over Notre Dame and a quarterback-coach lovefest on the sidelines. The failing grades went to the reigning national champions, who are looking for offense, and their fans, who are looking for personality and a sense of humor.

    Here’s the Week 3 analysis on how fans, teams, players, and coaches fared:

    4 Million Reasons to Lose

    Kent State’s athletic department is clearly financially smart, so smart that they can’t tell anyone with half a brain that they care what happens to their team on the football field.

    How else can you explain what happened in the first month of the season?

    After next week’s game against Penn State, the Golden Flashes will have received $4.05 million in guarantees from their three FBS opponents. Their Happy Valley trip will net them a cool $1.6 million.

    So far, the results of those checks have included a 55-24 loss to Pittsburgh ($1.1 million payday) and a $1.35 million payday for a 71-0 loss to Tennessee in which the Golden Flashes totaled 112 yards and had just eight first downs — despite not losing the ball once. The Volunteers, who had 740 yards of offense, got some extra practice before their game next week at Oklahoma.

    Oh, Kent State also lost at home to FCS St. Francis (Pa.).

    I can’t get mad about the consistency, but at least a few of Kent’s fellow MAC players are screwing up. Toledo got $1.2 million for its win over Mississippi State, and Northern Illinois’ surprise win over Notre Dame last week earned them $1.4 million.

    Let it Rain: Expansion

    NCAA has a heart, at least this week

    While the NCAA can be archaic and heavy-handed in its approach to… well, everything, especially rules enforcement, every once in a while the organization that screams amateurism will make the right move. Not just because it makes sense, but because otherwise the NCAA would be ridiculed and become more irrelevant than it already is.

    This week, the NCAA approved the use of helmets this season for deaf and hard of hearing players who play for Gallaudet University, a school in Washington, D.C.

    Helmet technology allows coaches to call plays from the sideline on a tablet. The display in the quarterback’s helmet allows the signal-caller to relay that information to his teammates.

    “It’s great that the NCAA cleared it before the season so we can work through these issues,” Gallaudet coach Chuck Goldstein told The Associated Press. “We have time and we’re excited about it — more excited than ever. And I’m just glad that we have these things and that we’re seeing what we need to improve on.”

    Let’s hope the NCAA Playing Rules Oversight Panel approves the helmets for permanent use going forward, just as it approved coach-player communication at the FBS level in April.

    Good looking: A+

    Do not click send

    I’m going to keep this short and sweet. Fox airs college football, but the social media team forgot which teams are actually in the FBS.

    Fox’s in-game graphics team also had issues.

    Google is free: F

    They said it

    Here’s what Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy, 57, had to say about how linebacker Obi Ezeigbo ended up in Stillwater after playing at Gannon University, a Division II school in Erie, Pennsylvania.

    “Do you want me to go back to coaching talk, or do you want the truth? He was very cheap,” Gundy said. “The amount of players we’re pursuing that were ready to play at this level, we can’t afford to have.”

    ***

    “I’m just here to avoid getting fined,” Arizona State head coach Kenny Dillingham said in his post-game on-court interview after they defeated Texas State on a bizarre late-game run.

    ***

    Colorado State quarterback Brayden Fowler-Nicolosi, this week’s Foot In Mouth Award winner, weighs in on the discussion about in-state rival Colorado. The Rams fell 28-9, their seventh straight loss in the series, with Fowler-Nicolosi contributing two interceptions to help the losing cause.

    “They got a rude awakening very quickly. I think it shows that the hype, the media frenzy, only takes you so far. At the end of the day you’ve got to put 11 guys up against our 11 guys and we’ll find out who wants it more. We’ll see how far Instagram followers take them,” Fowler-Nicolosi said in the build-up to the defeat.

    The worst and the best of the rest

    It’s not called the blind side for nothing:

    Sandra Bullock blocks: F

    Definition of butter fingers:

    Fumble, Fumblelaya, Fumblerooski: A+

    Blah, blah, blah, blah:

    Giving fans and viewers the business: D-

    Seat is hot in Tallahassee:

    Image = 1,000 words: Gap year needed

    Picking and sixing:

    Reservations for 6: A+

    Quarterback on referee violence:

    Keep Going: Straight to Graduation

    Feline wins over Air Force:

    Cat scratch disease: A

    Statistics for you

    11 – Temple has lost possession in all three games this season.

    17 – Age of Alabama wide receiver Ryan Williams, who had four catches for 78 yards and a touchdown in the Crimson Tide’s 42-10 win over Wisconsin.

    66 – Points against Notre Dame, the most ever in the 137-year history of football.

    69 – Combined ages of Arizona State head coach Kenny Dillingham (34) and Texas State’s GJ Kinne (35). Dillingham’s team won the game 31-28.

    72 – Age of North Carolina head coach Mack Brown, the oldest coach in the FBS.

    $1.3 million – Payout Memphis earned for the game against Florida State, which the Tigers won 20-12.

    The dog of the week

    (If you would like your dog to be featured in the photo, please feel free to send a photo here.)

    Now to the game: Northwestern State vs. South Alabama

    Okay, you know where this is going. With South Alabama needing someone to beat after losing its first two games of the year to opponents in the upper echelons of college football, the Jaguars scheduled Northwestern State of the FCS.

    The 87-10 demolition that lasted roughly three hours is ridiculous on its face, but it doesn’t even begin to convey the shame of actually playing the game — and the fact that the pups had to watch only makes the fiasco worse. The two teams agreed to an eight-minute fourth quarter, which led to an interesting interpretation of the rules regarding sports betting and payouts. After all, the Jaguars were five-touchdown favorites, so betting on the over should have been a foregone conclusion.

    Aside from the miserable five-hour bus ride back to their campus in Natchitoches, Louisiana, things could certainly have been worse for the Demons.

    South Alabama saw six touchdowns reversed — yes, six — due to penalties while still setting a Sun Belt Conference record for points in a game.

    Vaseline
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